Thursday, October 8, 2009

How life changes...

I have been having a hard time lately. I usually talk to my friend Laurie, but she passed away 15 months ago. I do have other friends, but I feel like their lives are so busy it would be unfair to burden them. So here I sit feeling the need to just unload.
These past two years have been really hard financially. One day you have a house the next you have to short sell it. One day you have rent money the next you have $20. It has put a lot of stress on the family. It is a hard time to find a job and that doesn't help either.
One day your husband goes to help at your parents house and is there for 3 minutes and has a tree branch fall on his head. It has been six months. He has changed in ways that I go to bed angry at him. I can not get over my anger. I cry and try to understand why he is doing things the way he feels they should be done. The little changes have made big issues in our marriage. I have been mad at him, but not like this. It's like I am mad at another person. I am trying to understand what he is doing and saying. I know he has a brain injury. I feel like I need to get to know him again. I love this man so much! I see him laughing with the kids and I think there he is and I want to hold on to it. It's not all bad, just different. He cries when he realizes that he is different and feels like he is letting us down. I know we will find a way to fix this it will just take time.
I'm not writing this to get the pity vote of the week. I am writing this to thank my Heavenly Father for my blessings. I have a beautiful family. The best ever. I feel he is waiting for me to make it through this challenge and move on to the next. An Eternal Family is worth working for. I have a loving husband. He loves me and tells me all the time. We know it will take time, but we will make it through together. I do know Heavenly Father loves me. I am grateful for his love every night as I pray myself to sleep. I am also grateful to all my friends. I have so many wonderful people in my life.
I thank you all for letting me unload. I love you all!